Thankfulness

November 22, 2014 by llee2106 1 Comment

Today I am so thankful that I was chosen to be my littles mommy. They had a visit last night with BM. I knew when I received the conformation that the visit was going to take place during the week this was going to throw a wrench in their schedule and behavior. Typically the visits are on Sunday afternoon so they have some time to unwind once they get home. But yesterday evening, that was not the case. By the time we got home, it was time for bed. Last night after I came out of the bathroom, I found my five year old sitting on the floor outside of my bedroom crying. I pulled him up off the floor and asked him why he was crying. For the first time he voiced his feelings and told me he was sad. Thinking he was going to tell me that he missed his BM, I braced myself for what was going to come next after I asked him why he was sad. He looked up at me with his dark brown eyes and tears streaming down his cheeks and said, “I couldn’t find you, I didn’t think you were going to come tuck me in and say goodnight.” I pulled him in to my lap and asked “Have I ever skipped coming to say goodnight?” He immediately shook his head no. I smothered him with a big hug and kiss and told him how much I loved him as I laid him down in his nice warm bed and he looked up at me and said, “I love you too mommy.”

In my mind I could see the hardened little boy that showed up at my doorstep just four short months ago. That boy who would stare at me like I was insane when I would tell him every night I loved him to the moon and back as I tucked him into his bed. The boy who didn’t know how to bathe himself or have any “peety” (Feety) pajamas to call his own. The boy who was so skeptical of my every move when it came to taking care of his two younger siblings. The boy who would cry for house over something so simple because he just didn’t know how to cope. The boy who was the care taker and truly didn’t know how to be a kid.

Now I see a sweet little boy who is finally expressing himself and able to voice his needs. A boy who expects to have a hug and kiss before bed each night. A boy who giggles and laughs when his older brother does something really dumb just to get a smile from his sweet face. A boy who can sit and play legos for hours on end just to build something new and exciting. A boy who has let go of control over his little siblings because he knows they are well taken care of. A boy who is growing, thriving, and knows he is loved.

On another note in this season of thankfulness, I am so thankful that my family has stepped to the plate and accepted these children as our own. I know that many foster and adoptive families struggle with family acceptance. I am fortunate to have the support of my entire family and all of my friends even on the days when they think I have completely lost my mind. If we ever need anything someone is always there to step up or step in when needed and sometimes they just magically show up at my house and ask is there anything they can do. I will forever be grateful for all of the time, support, and love that each and every person we come into contact with has poured into each one of my littles. The littles are growing and thriving because of each one of you.

Eternally grateful,

-L